POETRY

The Pit.

The darkness hit me quickly, I fell into the pit
I could not get out of bed, I just felt like shit
I felt terrified, terrified I would drown
I tumbled in that pit, I just went right down

The blackness was so thick, I just could not see
I just hated life, and I really hated me
I hated opening my eyes, I just wanted to die
I only had this thought, I wanted to know why

Why was I suffering, the darkness of the pit
It felt it had no ending, that I would not climb out of it
Every time I tried, I then fell back down
Those dark thoughts would not go, they kept coming around.

I could not eat for weeks, I could not wash my hair
I could not do the basics, I simply did not care
I felt so numb with pain, so bad no one could see
That I was in darkness, it took everything from me

It went on for months, the feelings would not lift
No matter what I was trying to do, I still felt like shit
I thought I hid the darkness, but everyone could see
That I was in a bad place, I just wasn't me.

The darkness took me lower, I could not go on
I had no strength left, everything felt wrong
I took myself to the station, I then wanted to die
I wanted the pain to stop, I could not even cry

I stood on that platform, and wanted to float away
I still have a hazy memory of what happened that day
Someone pulled my coat, and pulled me back from it
I ended up in hospital, I then felt so shit

I ended up on a locked ward, for months I was in there
I spent my days in seclusion, I would sit and stare
Nothing made much sense, I felt so confused
No one could talk to me, I felt so bemused.

But eventually it cleared, the darkness started to lift
I took an interest in what was happening, i did not feel shit
A doctor told me to write, just write the feelings down
So i started writing, I did not drown.

Depression is a horrible illness
I know it to be true
If you suffer the darkness, my thoughts are with you
Please be kind to someone suffering and the hell they are going through.

One in four will suffer the darkness and the shit
Depression is an awful thing, I call mine the pit
Please just offer a listening ear, or a helping hand
Sometimes all we need is someone to understand.

(c) paula peters 2014.